I Hate Dove

Ok, today - feeling a little down about the pudge factor - I decided to try and be good and limit my afternoon treat. I decided on only 2 Dove "Milk Chocolate Promises with Caramel" bites (I mean a "serving is 5 pcs!). They are lovely little chocolate squares with inspirational messages on the wrappers. Or so they claim.

As I'm sitting enjoying my first bit o chocoloate love, I glance down at my wrapper to see this:

Nice. Now my very small seed of guilt has ballooned into a potted plant of guilt. What gives? What the heck kind of "inspiration" is that??? As I sit going through the stages of grief, I slowly transition into the anger phase. I will not be bossed around! I will not be made to feel guilty! Most certainly not by a piece of foil! So I defiantly unwrap my next square, pop it in my mouth and check out the wrapper:

OK! OK DOVE - I GET IT! I'm a pig. I disgust you. I get it! Back the eff off! Man - who died and made you hall monitor? Sheesh.

In all honestly, I'd just like to know who the ____ does the brilliant marketing for Dove? If I ever meet them I will pelt them with all the small 'oragami' style folded foil wrappers I'll be collecting - in defiance of evil, evil, mean Dove Chocolate.