Wednesday, February 23, 2011

No Win Situation

My husband is a saint.  Seriously.  Those of you who have hung in there with me over the years would understand why!  I'm about to give you a shining, concrete example.

The other night as we were drifting off to sleep, I said aloud - without really giving it much thought - "you know I'm not sure I even have a proper suit anymore. I mean I have jackets and slacks but I doubt I have one suit set in my closet.  Humph".   I am lucky enough not to be required to wear suits daily at work and since I never see the inside of a courtroom any longer its just not high on my priority list.  When I go out in the evenings, a dress is my "go to".

Two days later as I am standing in my closet choosing what I might wear the next day, Hubby comes in and says "I've been thinking a lot about what you said - about not having a proper suit. It's really been bothering me.  When we get our tax returns, I want you to take $1000.00 of that and go on a shopping spree for clothes."  Ok, here is the point where any sane woman would jump up and down, squeal with glee, and throw herself at that wonderful man.  Any woman other than me.  You see, Hubby and I are trying to pay off ALL our debt.  ALL.  That means student loans, cars, mortgage, you name it.  We're attempting to set up and follow the ways of Dave Ramsey (a blog post for another day in and of itself).  So, I kindly told Hubby, "That is very sweet of you, but with us trying so hard to pay down debt, now is probably not a good time to go on a $1000 shopping spree."

At this point Hubby has GOT to be pretty confused.  I'm guessing that was not the reaction he was looking for.  (See instead: normal woman reaction).  So bless his heart he takes another tack.  He now says "Well I try really hard to keep my wardrobe current.  I buy at least one new piece each month.  I haven't seen you buy anything in months!  I want you to be able to stay up to date."   That is what he said.  What I heard was "My wardrobe is trendy and wonderful and yours is outdated and shabby.  So there."  Not good.

I may have gained some baby weight.  I have recently chopped off all my hair.  But by God the one thing I pride myself on is my fashion sense and wardrobe.  For me, its a source of PRIDE that I can cobble together anything out of my closet and make it look trendy.  I feel like I'm turning water into wine and all for the sake of my soon-to-be debt free family.  Sooooo Hubby's comments didn't sit well.  I did the only rational thing I could do: I burst into hysterical tears.  Poor Hubby just stood astonished and finally stammered out "I thought I was doing something good and yet you're crying!  I have no idea what I just did wrong!"

Little by little I was able to form complete coherent sentences and explain my thought process.  I think he finally "got it", but still didn't quite get it.    As for me, as much as I fantasize about that shopping spree I think I'll stick to my guns and work our savings plan instead.  Of course, the next time I want something - anything - I'm going to be reminding him at one point he offered me a $1000 shopping spree that I turned down.  Yeah.  He can't win.