Me N The City: Part 3 – The Concierge Hates Me

We zipped out of the doors of the W Hotel and off to find the Regal E-Walk Theater, which, according to our concierge was within walking distance. Hypothetically I suppose 1.1 miles is within walking distance. But not in 4” heels. Seven city blocks up and six city blocks over was not what we had in mind.

Click here to see exactly where we had to go....

As we trudged through the streets, swarming in and out of people, trying to avoid the ever-present sidewalk grates (not great for stilettos), we became ever more aware of how warm and humid it was. We had barely had time to reapply our lipstick much less shower before we left, and now we were starting to “glisten” on our walk across Manhattan. My hair, which had been carefully “reconstituted” was stuck to my face, my lipgloss, and going in every direction. My toes were quite unhappy at being made to bear the weight of my entire frame and my calves/shins were none-too-happy either. Now some four inch heels can at least be tolerable if not comfortable, and I’ve done my fair share of walking in heels – I do it everyday. I don’t even know if I own a pair of flats apart from one little neglected pair of ballet flats in the back of my closet. But I made the mistake of choosing my footwear based on outfit coordination instead of practicality and went with the cheap(ish) pair that matched my handbag perfectly instead of a more expensive but well-made pair. I can now tell you that throughout our 20 minute walk I cursed Jessica Simpson and her &%$^ shoes about 20-ways from Sunday. I now have even more reasons to think she is the Antichrist.

In addition, as we were walking, I distinctly began to realize that when the ladies in SATC walk through Manhattan dressed to the 9s they were apparently not in our neck of the woods. We stuck out like a sore thumb. People were gawking and whispering as we went by. And I doubt if it was in a good way. So now I am sweaty, tired, sore, frustrated, stressed and slightly embarrassed. I just wanted to get to the comfort of the cool dark theater. However no matter how many streets we crossed – no matter how many people we dodged or how many grates we sidestepped, the neon of the theater just seemed to get absolutely NO closer. At one point we actually stopped to ponder the possibility that we were indeed in the Twilight Zone.

We finally arrived at the theater, stopped by the ticket desk to pick up our prepaid tickets and realized it was 7:03. We were late. On opening night. For the first evening show. We bolted for the escalator since the movie was, of course, on the third floor of the theater. When we got to our screen we were delighted to discover it was only previews showing so far. Our joy was short lived however when we realized there were NO seats together anywhere in the theater. We had no choice – we climbed up the stadium stairs and chose two “one off” seats on the end of a couple rows not far from one another. Now on top of being late, tired, hungry, cranky, and sweaty we wouldn’t even get to enjoy the pinnacle of our trip together. I just wanted to sit down and cry – but I was too out of breath.

As the lights dimmed fully and the movie began, the couple next to me realized, somehow – miraculously – that they were in the wrong theater and left. My one break – my one ray of sunshine. I ran down the few stairs, hoping not to fall and break my neck, and grabbed Sarah. Apparently karma got a little tired of kicking us in the ass and decided to let us have our moment - together.

And a great moment it was. The movie was fantastic – it was all I’d hoped for. And seeing it in NYC was the cherry on top. The whole audience was alive – clapping, cheering, laughing, booing, crying, gasping – it was like we were at a live concert. I know the critics will hate it… but I know the fans will love it. I doubt there will be a sequel and in fact I hope there won’t. This was as it should be. Nothing more needs to be done to gild the lily. It’s time for SATC and its fabulous ladies to rest in infamy.

When the lights came up and we had dried our tears of sorrow and joy, it was time to head to dinner – FINALLY. Via cab! We headed to Nobu 57 ready for some pink drinks, great sushi and maybe a celeb sighting or two…

… to be continued.