Dinner Bell

It is dinnertime as I sit and type this entry. My hubby asks me "what should we have for dinner?" Although this is seemingly simple and benign question, due to my own insecurities, I take it as a personal attack. What he meant was to inquire whether or not I had any ideas for the evening meal. What I heard was "why don't you ever have a plan for dinnertime and why do we always eat frozen crap?" Poor guy.

It seems that I am not getting "in the groove" of this working mother thing. I envision other mothers making weekly grocery lists that contain all necessary ingredients for each planned daily meal as well as replenishing necessary staples. My husband does not let me go grocery shopping. Apparently I spend money on things that are not necessary. I can't help it if from time to time things like capers and chipotle Tabasco look appealing for reasons unknown to man. They just seem to jump into the cart.

Anyhoo suffice it to say while I enjoy cooking when I have time, I never seem to have any. I'm sure if I were a better time manager, or multi-tasker, or had a cabana boy I could get it all together. But as it stands, hubby and I eat pizza, meatloaf, crock pot fare, spaghetti or edamame most nights. If we end up having a balanced meal it is by sheer accident. This makes me quite nervous for days ahead. Right now Cora is a bottle girl who dabbles in "first foods" and rice cereal. Sometimes we get time to feed her "dinner" (apart from her bottle); most nights we do not. Since we get home around 5:30 and her bedtime routine starts at 6:30 we spend what little time we have with her holding her and playing with her. Thank goodness she gets rice ceral each lunchtime at daycare. On top of that, mornings are an orchestrated chaos with no time leftover. I shudder to think about what will happen when I actually have to feed my child real meals. Meals with nutritious content and at least limited forethought. It actually keeps me up nights thinking about it. Right now I have absolutely no idea how I will accomplish this. But that is something "Future Mommy" will have to worry about. Right now I gotta go eat - the pizza's done.