Friday, March 28, 2008

Where Is My Freakin Lambiness?

Ok. Seriously. Seriously. Seeeerrrriously. I cannot take much more winter. Just cannot take it. I'm not sure what is going to happen if things don't start to turn to Spring around here but I don't want one living person to breathe a word to me about Global Warming until it does.

Remember the saying "March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb"? Well 27 degrees and partly sunny is not very freakin lamby! I WANT MY LAMBINESS. Lambs are sweet and soft and make you happy. Crappy sleet and sandy roads do NOT make me happy.

Now look... I've lived in Iowa for 34+ years now. I'm used to winter for the most part. I don't love it. I'd be happy as a clam if we only got snow from about Dec 23rd through Jan 1st. But at least I know what to expect and how to cope. The problem was that I could always look forward to April as a time of daffodils, green grass, rainy puddles and fresh outdoor smells. Instead I have skeletons of bushes, brown grass, black snirt piles and don't get me started on the smell. The weatherman said the other day that our annual average snowfall was something like 27". We've had more than DOUBLE that this year. Yes that means over 54" of crappy, white, cold, dank snow. And mother nature keeps teasing us with one nice day only to have it drop 40 degrees and sleet the next. I mean it snowed on Easter for crying out loud. If that's not a sin then I'm sure its at least against the law.

I was lamenting my lack of lambiness to a friend today and she asked "what will you do when Cora comes home from school one day with a little cottonball lamb to hang on the fridge commemorating the start of Spring if we're having a Spring like this one?"

Easy - that's the time I kneel down, take her beautiful piece of art, place it at her eye level on the fridge and then calmly explain to her that its time she learned that established education is full of crap. She may as well start learning these things early.

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