Day 2

WARNING: Since many people have asked that I be very specific about my experience, and due to the nature of what a cleanse *is*, there is some graphic content to follow. If you are squeamish or uninterested, best stop now.

7:00am: Ok, sick hubby + teething infant = bad time for cleanse. Cora was up multiple, multiple times during the night - at one point for over a half hour and needed a bottle to calm down. Since hubby was sick I was on call. I didn't sleep well anyway even without her waking. I don't know if I was really too hungry to sleep, or if I was just nervous I'd GET to hungry to sleep. I'm neurotic that way. Plus I had to get up at least 3 times to pee. No eliminations overnight though so that was pleasant. I did have the joy of stepping in cat puke in the dark on one trip to the bathroom though. Plus I was trying to sleep as far on my side of the bed as possible in order to avoid catching hubby's whosiewhastsis. All in all not a great night. The funny thing is that I'm not a zombie this morning. I don't feel like running a marathon, but I've felt worse than this on nights I've gotten decent sleep. I'm guessing I'll crash this afternoon. The good news is that hubby feels a fair deal better this morning and is helping out with Coco bean. Did my saltwater flush but could only get through 20oz of the 32. Not too worried cuz after I got up this morning I "eliminated" three times before I even got to the flush and one time during. No waiting over an hour this time- the flush took hold almost immediately. Wasn't expecting it and didn't have much warning sooooooo [gross out alert] I'm on my third pair of underwear for the day. Yes for those of you playing at home I have "not made it to the restroom in time" twice now. I think I'm going to skip the saltwater flush and lax tea on weekdays. This just will not fly at the office. I made up my entire day's worth of lemonade this morning - much easier and its what I'll have to do for the work week anyway but I added too much cayenne - ick. Oh well I'll know better next time. The only problem is I didn't gauge well and I'm out of maple syrup and the local health food store is closed on Sundays (losers). Soooo sending hubby out on a mission to the local grocery stores on a wing and a prayer. Not sure what I'll do tomorrow if he can't find it. The one bright spot in my morning - even after drinking the 20oz of saltwater, I weighed myself and have lost 2.2lbs. Yay me. :)

10:45am: Ok so I have been running to the bathroom like a .... like a.... ok I dunno what but a LOT. A lot a lot. More than you'd think a lot. I keep going back and forth between being "fine" and feeling strong, to being NOT fine and wanting to quit like a muthafluffa. In addition I put too much cayenne in my premade lemonade and just now find out on the web that the cayenne will get stronger throughout the day so I'm thinking I may have to toss it at some point and go back to glass by glass. Other than that no real issues. My tongue is getting the white coating they describe and I have some muscle soreness in my neck and shoulders which could either be toxins releasing (that is where I always carry my stress) or just the fact that I slept tense last night. I'm not really hungry, hungry, but just want to EAT. Surprisingly all the things that sounded good yesterday (BK, sour cream Ruffles, onion rings) aren't a big deal today but I would kill for some almonds. Go figure. Well for now I'm sticking it out. More to come...

Just found this on a support site:

This is the perfect time for you to reevaluate your relationship with food as well as your self-control issues. On the cleanse you will learn the difference between physical hunger and mental hunger and you'll see that 90% of the time you are mentally hungry. So find other things to do to keep yourself from eating. And relearn your habits, find other ways to satisfy yourself. Food is just a filler and something to do. Take this time on the cleanse to start to break the control that food has over you. It's really a mind of matter thing. It's really you being resolute and standing up to everything in you that wants to be weak and indulge and saying no. You be your own drill seargant. You whip yourself into shape. No one else will do it for you. No one else cares about you enough to do it. You need to love yourself enough to want yourself to be better.

2:02pm: Wow just looked at the clock thinking it had to be around 5:30. Um nope. Am seriously on the quitting fence. On one hand I feel like maybe this is not a healthy thing and that not eating for 12 days is not the way humans were made. I'm tired, have a headache, am really really hungry and am crabby. On the other hand I don't want to be a quitter, I want to lose the weight, I want to detox my body and I've come this far. I just don't know what to do. The worse part is the "butt pee". I just cannot get that under control and I'm really scared for work tomorrow if I continue. Annnnnnd I already cheated - I had a spoonful of peanut butter. I couldn't help it - I was delirious :) Just need to think this out some. Hubby is all for quitting - he never liked this idea in the first place. He wants to buy me a rowing machine (been wanting one) instead if weight loss is my goal. I'm just not sure I'm ready to abandon this. They say days 2&3 are the worst which should be affirming but is actually daunting because I don't want to feel like this for another whole day. Hmmmm ....